Single Woman About Town. Beware :

Sometime, I feel like I have a tattoo stamped on my forehead heralding my single status and begging for pity from passer-by especially from female ones. It is a touth sale convincing people that being single doesn't necessarily mean I'll end up living alone with dezens of cats.

As soon as people hear the words single and late twenties used in the same sentence, they instinctively offer consolation and half-hearted optimism about a future possible romantic connection. No matter, how much I may protest and assure them that I relish being single, the bottom line, according to the society at large, is that single-ites should be pitied. 

But truth be known, being single at this particular age and period works wonders. 

Personally, I don't think I'm missing out by not being romantically involved. I have a great career, fantastic friends and a strong support system, and if I may add a wonderful future ahead of me. Sure, a lot of my single friends are swiftly getting hitched and starting families, but their life choices do not reflect nor affect mine. 

However, as much as I may shout those words at the top of my lungs, the people around me assume that I must be putting on a brave front. Underneath it all, they assume, I must be an insecure woman hell-bent on getting hitched.

The pressure to conform to the standard hetero normative marriage model is overwhelming, to say the least. There is an unspoken stigma associated in seeing a young single woman enjoying her life. I have had countless relatives, well-wishers, and even acquaintances lament at my single status. The message is quite clear-I am supposed to feel inadequate because I am single. Offtentimes the message is conveyed through countless blind dates, unsolicited advice to change this or alter that to make myself that more appealing to the opposite sex, or blatant arguments that my romantic expectations are fantastical. Suffice to say, their interpretation of my perpetual single-ness stems from my refusal to conform to the conventional wishdom of matrimony at a young age. 

The subtle but potent discrimination from elder females is palpable. But now, even my peers seem to have in herited the bias. Many times, my single friends and I have detected the flicker of pity splashed across the faces of young married women when they inquire about our status. If that isn't bad enough, we, single women, must also be kept at a safe distance from the married men, lest we pry them away from their partners. 

It's astounding to grasp the numerous assumptions that are towed upon us solely on our single status. We are at once sized up, singled out, and ostracized for daring to be single in this society. The thought of us choosing to be single is unacceptable. The perennial belief is that we are constantly on the prowl for the next best male partner.

Yep, the pressure to throw away my single-ness is a constant uphill battle. There are bad days when I want to cave in and marry the next Tom. Dick or Harry who happens to fancy me: and then there are the good days when I discover that I am sheltered from the complications and distractions that a romantic entanglement might bring. I've learned a while ago that adhering to societal rules won't guarantee happiness. So, I take immense pride in knowing that I am because that is what I choose right now.

Tisa Mubaddes

is a member of 

Writer's Block

and is currently

working on a novel.

Single Woman About Town. Beware :

Sometime, I feel like I have a tattoo stamped on my forehead heralding my single status and begging for pity from passer-by especially from female ones. It is a touth sale convincing people that being single doesn't necessarily mean I'll end up living alone with dezens of cats.

As soon as people hear the words single and late twenties used in the same sentence, they instinctively offer consolation and half-hearted optimism about a future possible romantic connection. No matter, how much I may protest and assure them that I relish being single, the bottom line, according to the society at large, is that single-ites should be pitied. 

But truth be known, being single at this particular age and period works wonders. 

Personally, I don't think I'm missing out by not being romantically involved. I have a great career, fantastic friends and a strong support system, and if I may add a wonderful future ahead of me. Sure, a lot of my single friends are swiftly getting hitched and starting families, but their life choices do not reflect nor affect mine. 

However, as much as I may shout those words at the top of my lungs, the people around me assume that I must be putting on a brave front. Underneath it all, they assume, I must be an insecure woman hell-bent on getting hitched.

The pressure to conform to the standard hetero normative marriage model is overwhelming, to say the least. There is an unspoken stigma associated in seeing a young single woman enjoying her life. I have had countless relatives, well-wishers, and even acquaintances lament at my single status. The message is quite clear-I am supposed to feel inadequate because I am single. Offtentimes the message is conveyed through countless blind dates, unsolicited advice to change this or alter that to make myself that more appealing to the opposite sex, or blatant arguments that my romantic expectations are fantastical. Suffice to say, their interpretation of my perpetual single-ness stems from my refusal to conform to the conventional wishdom of matrimony at a young age. 

The subtle but potent discrimination from elder females is palpable. But now, even my peers seem to have in herited the bias. Many times, my single friends and I have detected the flicker of pity splashed across the faces of young married women when they inquire about our status. If that isn't bad enough, we, single women, must also be kept at a safe distance from the married men, lest we pry them away from their partners. 

It's astounding to grasp the numerous assumptions that are towed upon us solely on our single status. We are at once sized up, singled out, and ostracized for daring to be single in this society. The thought of us choosing to be single is unacceptable. The perennial belief is that we are constantly on the prowl for the next best male partner.

Yep, the pressure to throw away my single-ness is a constant uphill battle. There are bad days when I want to cave in and marry the next Tom. Dick or Harry who happens to fancy me: and then there are the good days when I discover that I am sheltered from the complications and distractions that a romantic entanglement might bring. I've learned a while ago that adhering to societal rules won't guarantee happiness. So, I take immense pride in knowing that I am because that is what I choose right now.

Tisa Mubaddes

is a member of 

Writer's Block

and is currently

working on a novel.

Sensibly Single :

Till date being single has worked for me perfectly. I know that I am single because I have reason to be. To me it is never an issue, as I do believe in fact and reality. Single or not, my happiness is the foremost important thing in my life. In a way, I am never single..... I always have me with me. I also have my work, my passion and my art. In a country, We have never had the privilege of knowing what it is to be just ‘me’. We are different countries girls have two is actually the father’s den and the other with our husbands. But I need to see and be in my life, my own life. in fact it is applicable for men, too. I need to feel and know that it is actually my life, after all. Being single is still a new concept in our society and it is simultaneously very fashionable and also not yet socially ‘acceptable’. But I believe it is a necessary step in one’s life, to come out of the box, out of the convenient way of life, and to deal with it practically. This gives me the strength to be an individual and to support myself Firstly, I have to be strong enough to support myself, and only then can I support the rest. In order to do that I need to know how to face reality without any back-up, this will eventually help me raise my own family in any given situation.

My father died when I was a teenager and my mom was in her early thirties. His sudden death forced us into a reality with us three children and a single (widowed) mother. She was a working woman and an exceptionally courageous one at that, and we all managed to pull it. off together as a family. I watched her struggle, constantly learning, while leading her life without any support. It was a huge pressure for her to deal with it all on her own. Over time I gave a lot of thought to the situation and realized that if she had her own life at some point she would have had the opportunity to prepare and strengthen herself for a situation like the one she was faced with when my father died. It is the same with divorced/separated women. they know how to handle being alone if they learned how to be single firstly. Of course there are many hurdles to face as a single woman, but it is still our life and we have to make the best use of it no matter what. It should be a choice, a choice of wanting to live life to its fullest. If being ‘single’ makes one feel happy, so be it! I always looked for.

Challenges and being single has given me the opportunity to see it all fun, pain, gain, all of it. Single life teaches me to be prepared, to be aware and to be accountable of my own judgment and my own decisions. I know exactly what I want from my life. Being single brings me closer to my life and my surroundings. Though it is not all fun, it is surely worth living alone at some point of our lives!

One piece of advice though: do not make single-hood the motto of your life. Keep a partner or lover as close to your heart as possible, if not close to your house. So, when the right time comes, you can be together and make life more meaningful, joyful and live with one another in LOVE.

Sensibly Single :

Till date being single has worked for me perfectly. I know that I am single because I have reason to be. To me it is never an issue, as I do believe in fact and reality. Single or not, my happiness is the foremost important thing in my life. In a way, I am never single..... I always have me with me. I also have my work, my passion and my art. In a country, We have never had the privilege of knowing what it is to be just ‘me’. We are different countries girls have two is actually the father’s den and the other with our husbands. But I need to see and be in my life, my own life. in fact it is applicable for men, too. I need to feel and know that it is actually my life, after all. Being single is still a new concept in our society and it is simultaneously very fashionable and also not yet socially ‘acceptable’. But I believe it is a necessary step in one’s life, to come out of the box, out of the convenient way of life, and to deal with it practically. This gives me the strength to be an individual and to support myself Firstly, I have to be strong enough to support myself, and only then can I support the rest. In order to do that I need to know how to face reality without any back-up, this will eventually help me raise my own family in any given situation.

My father died when I was a teenager and my mom was in her early thirties. His sudden death forced us into a reality with us three children and a single (widowed) mother. She was a working woman and an exceptionally courageous one at that, and we all managed to pull it. off together as a family. I watched her struggle, constantly learning, while leading her life without any support. It was a huge pressure for her to deal with it all on her own. Over time I gave a lot of thought to the situation and realized that if she had her own life at some point she would have had the opportunity to prepare and strengthen herself for a situation like the one she was faced with when my father died. It is the same with divorced/separated women. they know how to handle being alone if they learned how to be single firstly. Of course there are many hurdles to face as a single woman, but it is still our life and we have to make the best use of it no matter what. It should be a choice, a choice of wanting to live life to its fullest. If being ‘single’ makes one feel happy, so be it! I always looked for.

Challenges and being single has given me the opportunity to see it all fun, pain, gain, all of it. Single life teaches me to be prepared, to be aware and to be accountable of my own judgment and my own decisions. I know exactly what I want from my life. Being single brings me closer to my life and my surroundings. Though it is not all fun, it is surely worth living alone at some point of our lives!

One piece of advice though: do not make single-hood the motto of your life. Keep a partner or lover as close to your heart as possible, if not close to your house. So, when the right time comes, you can be together and make life more meaningful, joyful and live with one another in LOVE.

People of Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia – “The Arabia of King Saud”- is a large but lightly populated desert land. The culture of many of its eight million people hadn’t changed much for a thousand year. However, under the Arabian desert sand is the main power source for modern technology- oil, since the 1930s, this oil has brought to Saudi Arabia Europeans. Americans, and the above all, money. The products of the industrial world can be seen everywhere.

Saudi Arabia is changing, but underneath the change are powerful traditions which resist change .Ancient laws are respected and obeyed. Saudi Arabia is a kingdom, and the king rules with near-total authority. Changes in life and custom occur slowly.

In this section you’ll investigate the rules and controls that people of this kingdom.

Where do Rules come from? :

Every society has rules. There are always rules about marriage, about the responsibilities of parents to children, about education, work, dress properly- rules about almost everything, Clearly, if you want to understand a particular society, it is necessary to know what its rules are.

One important question about rules that is not asked very often is, where do rules come from. When we ask that question, we usually answer it by saying rules come “from Congress” or from “kings or rulers or other people who have power.”

But that answer misses the point of the question. The best answer seems to be that societies discover that a certain way of action causes problems. To avoid that problem, a rule is made up which prohibits the way of acting. The rule may come from an authority and be written down, or it may simply become accepted over a long period of time. The actual procedure isn’t important. It’s more important to know that rules usually begin as practical solutions to real problems.

Here are some rules generally observed by the Saudi Arabians. The rules have been followed for more than a thousand years. Since the time when the Saudi Arabians were tribes of herdsmen wandering from place to place to place on the Arabian peninsula.

As you read, think about what problems these rules might have helped to avoid.

On Drinking Alcohol :
If a Moslem Drinks wine, and two witnesses testify to his having done so. Or if his breath smells of wine or if he shall himself confess to having taken wine, or it he found in a state of intoxication, he shall receive eighty lashes, or, in the case of a slave forty lashes.

On Gambling :

They will ask the concerning wine, and games of chance. Say both are a great sin and advantage also, to men, but their sin is greater than their disadvantage.

The evidence of a gambler is not admissible in a court of law, because gambling is a great crime.

On Larceny :
If a man or woman steal, cut off their hands.

On Eating :

One should wash one’s hand, mouth and nose, give thanks to God. Eat with the right hand and with the shoes off and lick the plate when the meal finished.

On Women :

Men are superior to women because God has give n the man qualities which the woman does not have.

A women should not be seen by men not of her own family. If she appears where she might be seen by men, she must wear a veil over her face.

On Food :

All animals that seize their prey with their teeth, and all birds which seize it with their talons, are unlawful to eat. No animal that lives in the water, except fish, is lawful, but fish dying of themselves are unlawful. Animals which are not slain are unlawful to eat.

On collecting Interest On Money Loaned :

Cursed be the taker of usury, the giver of usury, the writer of usury, and the witness of usury, for they are all equal. They who take usury shall be given over to the fire of Hell, therein to abide forever.

People of Saudi Arabia

Saudi Arabia – “The Arabia of King Saud”- is a large but lightly populated desert land. The culture of many of its eight million people hadn’t changed much for a thousand year. However, under the Arabian desert sand is the main power source for modern technology- oil, since the 1930s, this oil has brought to Saudi Arabia Europeans. Americans, and the above all, money. The products of the industrial world can be seen everywhere.

Saudi Arabia is changing, but underneath the change are powerful traditions which resist change .Ancient laws are respected and obeyed. Saudi Arabia is a kingdom, and the king rules with near-total authority. Changes in life and custom occur slowly.

In this section you’ll investigate the rules and controls that people of this kingdom.

Where do Rules come from? :

Every society has rules. There are always rules about marriage, about the responsibilities of parents to children, about education, work, dress properly- rules about almost everything, Clearly, if you want to understand a particular society, it is necessary to know what its rules are.

One important question about rules that is not asked very often is, where do rules come from. When we ask that question, we usually answer it by saying rules come “from Congress” or from “kings or rulers or other people who have power.”

But that answer misses the point of the question. The best answer seems to be that societies discover that a certain way of action causes problems. To avoid that problem, a rule is made up which prohibits the way of acting. The rule may come from an authority and be written down, or it may simply become accepted over a long period of time. The actual procedure isn’t important. It’s more important to know that rules usually begin as practical solutions to real problems.

Here are some rules generally observed by the Saudi Arabians. The rules have been followed for more than a thousand years. Since the time when the Saudi Arabians were tribes of herdsmen wandering from place to place to place on the Arabian peninsula.

As you read, think about what problems these rules might have helped to avoid.

On Drinking Alcohol :
If a Moslem Drinks wine, and two witnesses testify to his having done so. Or if his breath smells of wine or if he shall himself confess to having taken wine, or it he found in a state of intoxication, he shall receive eighty lashes, or, in the case of a slave forty lashes.

On Gambling :

They will ask the concerning wine, and games of chance. Say both are a great sin and advantage also, to men, but their sin is greater than their disadvantage.

The evidence of a gambler is not admissible in a court of law, because gambling is a great crime.

On Larceny :
If a man or woman steal, cut off their hands.

On Eating :

One should wash one’s hand, mouth and nose, give thanks to God. Eat with the right hand and with the shoes off and lick the plate when the meal finished.

On Women :

Men are superior to women because God has give n the man qualities which the woman does not have.

A women should not be seen by men not of her own family. If she appears where she might be seen by men, she must wear a veil over her face.

On Food :

All animals that seize their prey with their teeth, and all birds which seize it with their talons, are unlawful to eat. No animal that lives in the water, except fish, is lawful, but fish dying of themselves are unlawful. Animals which are not slain are unlawful to eat.

On collecting Interest On Money Loaned :

Cursed be the taker of usury, the giver of usury, the writer of usury, and the witness of usury, for they are all equal. They who take usury shall be given over to the fire of Hell, therein to abide forever.

The Tribal people of Afghanistan

Society in rural Afghanistan (and most of Afghanistan is rural) is organized in family and tribal units. The afghan family resembles very closely other tribal societies of both the Near East and Central Asia. It includes the head of the family, his married sons. All of them share the common responsibility of the entire family. As a result beggars are rare in Afghanistan, for the aged, the sick, the handicapped, and the unemployed are cared for by the family as a matter of course.

The Eldest male, as head of the family, has complete authority over his entire household. The position of family patriarch generally passes to the eldest son. Sons stay in their father's household, while married daughters go to their husband's family. Often there is preference for marriages within the extended family or among near relatives.

In this type of family most property is owned jointly, and the entire family's earnings are pooled and distributed by the patriarch. When the head of the family dies, the property is divided among the sons to keep the family from becoming too large. (Moslem law requires that one share go to each son, one-half share to each daughter, and one-eighth of the total property to the widow.) The eldest son remains in the patriarchal dwelling.

Among settled peoples the family generally lives in a group of flat-roofed, mud-brick dwellings within a high mud-walled compound. These compounds often resemble a small rectangular fort (which, were in less settled time). Each married couple has a room or a small house. In a central courtyard a well or pool provides water for drinking, cooking, bathing and washing. Meals are prepared by the women at a cooking oven and eaten together by the whole family around a huge metal tray set on the floor. A crude latrine will be the only sanitary facility, if it exists at all. These country compounds are surrounded by their fields of grain, with a low walled enclosure for livestock and perhaps and irregular orchard of nut or fruit trees near the walls.

The nomads follow a similar family living arrangement. In the summer months when pasture grass grows high on the mountains, they pitch an encampment of handwoven black goats, hair tents thrown over rectangular frames of rough poles. The furnishings are extremely simple. Rugs or felt mats woven by the women provide floor coverings, and there will the be a pile of blankets, a nest of copper utensils and earthenware jars for cooking, goatskin bags for liquids, occasionally a wooden chest for clothing. The parents and unmarried children live in one tent. If a man has more than one wives, each has her tent. The women of the family weave a tent for each son when he marries. In the winter they move to the lower valleys to escape the snows, and number of related families set up their tents together in a larger camp.

The men of the nomadic tribes hunt and care for the flocks. The women father fuel, carry water, and do the cooking sewing and weaving. The family's flocks of sheep, goats, or camels provide them with their meat, butter, milk, and cheese, the wool for their clothing, tents and blankets, and even dung for fuel. In addition, both the animals and their wool or skins are sold in towns to pay for such simple necessities as sugar, tea and thread.

The Tribal people of Afghanistan

Society in rural Afghanistan (and most of Afghanistan is rural) is organized in family and tribal units. The afghan family resembles very closely other tribal societies of both the Near East and Central Asia. It includes the head of the family, his married sons. All of them share the common responsibility of the entire family. As a result beggars are rare in Afghanistan, for the aged, the sick, the handicapped, and the unemployed are cared for by the family as a matter of course.

The Eldest male, as head of the family, has complete authority over his entire household. The position of family patriarch generally passes to the eldest son. Sons stay in their father's household, while married daughters go to their husband's family. Often there is preference for marriages within the extended family or among near relatives.

In this type of family most property is owned jointly, and the entire family's earnings are pooled and distributed by the patriarch. When the head of the family dies, the property is divided among the sons to keep the family from becoming too large. (Moslem law requires that one share go to each son, one-half share to each daughter, and one-eighth of the total property to the widow.) The eldest son remains in the patriarchal dwelling.

Among settled peoples the family generally lives in a group of flat-roofed, mud-brick dwellings within a high mud-walled compound. These compounds often resemble a small rectangular fort (which, were in less settled time). Each married couple has a room or a small house. In a central courtyard a well or pool provides water for drinking, cooking, bathing and washing. Meals are prepared by the women at a cooking oven and eaten together by the whole family around a huge metal tray set on the floor. A crude latrine will be the only sanitary facility, if it exists at all. These country compounds are surrounded by their fields of grain, with a low walled enclosure for livestock and perhaps and irregular orchard of nut or fruit trees near the walls.

The nomads follow a similar family living arrangement. In the summer months when pasture grass grows high on the mountains, they pitch an encampment of handwoven black goats, hair tents thrown over rectangular frames of rough poles. The furnishings are extremely simple. Rugs or felt mats woven by the women provide floor coverings, and there will the be a pile of blankets, a nest of copper utensils and earthenware jars for cooking, goatskin bags for liquids, occasionally a wooden chest for clothing. The parents and unmarried children live in one tent. If a man has more than one wives, each has her tent. The women of the family weave a tent for each son when he marries. In the winter they move to the lower valleys to escape the snows, and number of related families set up their tents together in a larger camp.

The men of the nomadic tribes hunt and care for the flocks. The women father fuel, carry water, and do the cooking sewing and weaving. The family's flocks of sheep, goats, or camels provide them with their meat, butter, milk, and cheese, the wool for their clothing, tents and blankets, and even dung for fuel. In addition, both the animals and their wool or skins are sold in towns to pay for such simple necessities as sugar, tea and thread.